Episode Transcript
[00:00:04] Speaker A: If you want more time, money, freedom, and have a business that's not reliant on you, then you're in the right place. Each week, Mark Creedon, along with some of the very best business minds in the world, will take you through simple, practical steps you can take to create the business you always wanted. From his own practical experience, Mark will show you how to work less, make more, and get the business you always wanted, the one that you deserve.
Now, here's your host, one of Australia's most sought after business coaches, Mark Creedney.
[00:00:52] Speaker B: Welcome to the latest edition of the Mastermind for Business podcast. I'm Mark Creedney, your host. In today's episode, we're going to do something a little bit different. We're going to talk about the concept or the theory of confirmation bias, and we're going to talk about gratitude and appreciation and how if you practice gratitude and appreciation, gratitude for yourself, appreciation for other people, it's actually going to help you on your journey to get more freedom from your business. So in today's episode, we're going to talk about how getting more freedom from your business is not just about getting other people to do things, but it's about changing the way that you think about things. And that's what we're going to get underway with very shortly with our special guest Caroline. Caroline Creedon's in the, in the room.
[00:01:43] Speaker C: Hi, mark. Welcome to your podcast.
[00:01:45] Speaker B: Thanks, Caroline.
[00:01:46] Speaker C: I'm Caroline Creedon. Let's welcome Mark Creedon to the perfect, perfect.
[00:01:51] Speaker B: Nepotism reigns supreme. Hey, Caroline. With all of the work that we do with our clients in our mastermind program, we're always talking about them. I mean, our aim is to help people to get freedom from their business. And so we're always talking to them about the things that they need to change around, understanding the highest and best use of their time, getting the right team on board, setting targets that work to the highest and best use of their time, that work to their team, setting up systems and structures and processes, delegating effectively all of those sorts of things. But today I want to talk about something a little bit different. And the first thing I want to talk about is the concept of confirmation bias. Now, you would have heard this from Michael Yardney at wealth retreat about the concept of confirmation bias. Confirmation bias. Michael just called you Michael. What do they call you Michael for, Caroline? Confirmation bias. Caroline.
[00:02:38] Speaker C: Well, I'm the sage.
[00:02:40] Speaker B: Yeah, well, you are the sage. Confirmation bias is like a phenomena that whatever belief we start out with, we will go looking for evidence to support it.
But there's a corollary to that, which is that whatever question we ask, we'll focus on the answer. So, in other words, if we constantly look at things of what is wrong here, we need to instead, as opposed to looking for what is right here. And we've often spoken in terms of parenting, for example, that concept of catching your kids doing something right, same as catching your team member doing something right. That's what I want to talk about today. I want to talk about changing our focus so that we can really concentrate on appreciation and our own gratitude. You up for that chat?
[00:03:30] Speaker C: 1%. Bring it on.
[00:03:31] Speaker B: Okay, cool. I think one of the thing is that from a pretty early age, we're sort of taught by our parents and teachers to ask the question of what is wrong here. I remember sitting in a conversation with somebody once and they were talking about coaching and they said, oh, the problem with all you coaches and consultants is all you do is find things that are wrong. And we're often having conversations with our clients saying we're not here to find things that are wrong. Sure, if they're wrong, we're going to fix them. But really we're primarily here to find things that are basically right, that just need tweaking and improvement.
Because every week you do a clarity session, often the sessions that you have, the chats you have with our mastermind members would actually not be about things being wrong, but things kind of just not quite working the way they should, would they not?
[00:04:20] Speaker C: Yeah, we do see this all the time in the Wednesday sessions.
It's about roadblocks that people get to on a weekly basis, a daily basis, and often they're very common roadblocks. But in relation to your comment about information bias, often when we're sitting too close to something, we can't see beyond the negative because the impact feels so great. Sometimes when you're walking in a lot of muddy water, you can't see your toes. So having someone direct you about the best way to go or how to see the positive in that is a lot harder when you're looking for yourself, really valuable when you've got somebody else helping you along the way.
[00:05:10] Speaker B: That's a really good analogy. I thought I was like the guru of analogies, but that's a really good analogy because you're right. When you're walking in muddy water, you can't see what's going. I remember Carolina, I think I wrote an article about this once. Remember being on a plane taking off from Sydney to come home and it was just a really horrible, miserable day. But as the plane climbed through about 15,000 or 20,000ft and went through all the clouds, it was blue sky and stunning and beautiful up there, but you couldn't see that from the ground, but it was there, and I think it's the same thing. And where we get confirmation bias is that because we can't see it because we see the negative. Where the confirmation bias comes in is we then go looking for more evidence to support what's wrong as opposed to what's right.
[00:05:59] Speaker C: Yeah, I think we can buy in to the negative a lot easier than we can buy into the positive. I mean, if you've got somebody who is in a state of having continual, not necessarily losses, but not wins to their liking, then they're going to see and capture onto the negative a lot quicker than they will to pull themselves out of the negative and see.
[00:06:23] Speaker B: I think that we were taught to focus on what's wrong or what might be a danger by our parents and by teachers. And in the early years that's great because it was designed to keep us safe and alive. We have to be aware of what's wrong. But I think the unintended consequence of that is that we end up focusing on what's wrong. We focus on the negative. And so we continually see the negative and we see this all the time. It leads to really very successful people not being satisfied with their lives, not being satisfied with their lot in life, if you like. And it's not until we have a conversation with them and we go, well, hang on a second, let's look at what you've achieved. Let's look at what's good and you start pulling out all these things and you can sort of see the lights come on, can't you?
[00:07:11] Speaker C: I think you can, yeah. I mean, sometimes it's just when you listen to a whole bunch of negative comments coming out, whether it's something that's going on through your head or one of your team members or your staff, just take a moment and regroup with your thoughts, but then really pinpoint on what their negatives are in those moments and then see how you can tweak it.
[00:07:35] Speaker B: Yeah.
The thing about it, I think, is that because we end up being in this situation where we sort of don't feel satisfied with ourselves, the really interesting thing is, and there's lots of research behind this, but you actually taught me this many, many years ago, without the research, when I was still studying psychology, that in fact, we actually perform at our best when we're having fun and feeling good about mean. Let's be honest, looking at the negative stuff is not fun. And it's very hard to feel good about yourself when all you're doing is facing the negative. And, Caroline, what really got me going on this was I realized, because I journal, try to journal every day, miss some days. But I realized that there was a pattern over the last couple of months where I was journaling about what was wrong and I'd stopped journaling about what was right. And it was on the weekend that I was thumbing through my journal and I went, holy crap, I've just been journaling about all the shit and not about the good stuff. I've not been focusing on the gratitude and appreciation.
[00:08:47] Speaker C: I think it's important to acknowledge the negative, acknowledging the feelings behind the negative, because I don't think you can get through to that next step until that is acknowledged. Otherwise, you'll lose momentum on not acknowledging that emotion.
[00:09:09] Speaker B: They did this research in the UK where they got two sets of kids to perform a maths test. And with the first group, when they did well, they said to that group, you did really well because you're really smart.
And the second group, they said, you did really well because you tried really hard.
And then they got those two groups to do the next level of tests. And in fact, the second group, the group that they had praised and shown appreciation for, as opposed to stating a fact that you did well because you're clever, actually tried harder and were more interested in trying to do the more advanced test than the first group were. So I think it just goes to show, and, you know, you think about it, we head along to one of our grandson's soccer match, right? And if they're behind a little bit and you really start cheering them on, particularly individually.
Great pass. Great pass, Izzy. Great try, Archie. And you watch them achieve more. And those teams that are behind by that cheering, sometimes the momentum just changes, doesn't it?
[00:10:19] Speaker C: Yes. I think in their heads, they turn from boys to men.
[00:10:23] Speaker B: Yeah, that's right. But the thing is that what happens, I think, is that tides will change. And the reason I'm sharing this is that there was a realization for me over the weekend that tide needed to change for me. Yes, folks, the world's greatest optimist and the person who people lean on a lot sometimes just has those negative moments as well. And I had this real aha. Moment over the weekend where I realized that that's what I was doing wrong.
Good on me.
[00:10:55] Speaker C: Is that because I cracked my nanny yeah, maybe.
[00:11:00] Speaker B: So I had this realization that what I was doing in my journaling was focusing on the things that were going wrong, not the things were going right. And I thought, I really want to record this podcast today because I really want to take advantage of this knowledge and generate good feelings in ourselves and then good feelings in others. And what I did, Caroline, was I. Then yesterday afternoon and again this morning when I journaled, I journaled. Sure, I shared all my other thoughts that were going through my head. I did my brain dump, but then I journaled about gratitude.
Now, I practice gratitude as often as I can, but this time, I really journaled about gratitude. I really mapped out what was going on that was really good in my life and what I was grateful for. There were some disappointments I had over the last couple of days, but there was a whole bunch of things that were really good. And I just think it became a real trigger for me to change my mood. And that's why I really wanted to get in and get this down on a podcast.
[00:11:58] Speaker C: I think it's a really good idea to ground yourself. And when you went through your journal and you noticed that there's a lot of negative messages that were coming out through what you were reading, whether it's through a journal or whether it's you hearing yourself speaking to other people, find out what grounds you essentially, what are those key things that you can do for yourself that can help give you control of delete and without sounding hippie ish for some, specifically for me, when I'm feeling a little bit negative or flat or whatever that might be, and we're all human, so we get those moments. I head out into the yard, whether it's pulling some weeds out, planning a plant if I'm super cranky, or buy a plant if you feel a bit of happiness needed around the place, get some flowers, put some plants in. That's just my way of giving myself a tweak, acknowledging the gratitude and getting things out there.
[00:13:06] Speaker B: Yeah, if we take that gratitude concept. And so that's internal, right? So we work out what we're grateful for, how we ground ourselves. And I love that idea of grounding yourself. And so that's an internal thing. And what I'm suggesting is that you create a habit of it for me. I leave my journal somewhere, my journal and my pen. I've spoken before about how it's quite a thing for me, but I leave my journal and my pen somewhere really obvious. So when I get up in the morning, it's not the first thing I see it's not on my bedside table, but it's on a table in the room. So know I walk past it, I see it. It's a trigger to remind think. So. I do journal regularly, but it was just a question of changing the journaling so that it's about being grateful. Because the reality is Stuart Wilde wrote this great book. If you get a chance to get your hands on this book, it's a fantastic little book. Honestly, you'll read it in a matter of a couple of hours. But it's called life wasn't meant to be a struggle by Stuart Wilde. And I think that's the thing that we've got to remember. The truth is, ladies and gentlemen, girls and boys, building a business, running your business, looking after your team, it's not meant to be constantly hard work.
It's not meant to be a grind or painful all the time. It's going to be. And Carolyn, you and I had a big chat on Friday night. Know some of the frustrations that we each had. Not with each other, but about the business. You were just off mic when you said that. So it's quite good.
It's about establishing things that you're grateful for and then I think making sure that you're practicing it as much as you can on a daily basis. Don't worry about it if you miss a day or two. So whether it's putting a note on your bedside table that says gratitude, sticking a note in the mirror. So if you're shaving or brushing your teeth in the morning and you don't have to say it out loud, you can say it to yourself. But just finding three to five things that you're grateful for and different things, you can't. As much as I would be, I'm not going to get up every morning and go, I'm grateful for Caroline, that's a given. But I am grateful for you and I'm grateful for the kids and the grandkids, and I'm grateful for health, and I'm grateful for the team that we have in our businesses, and I'm grateful for our clients, and I'm grateful for everybody that listens to this podcast. So there's lots and lots of things to be grateful for. You've just got to get in the habit of identifying it and then the habit of stating those things to remind you. It's an external reminder to you. Kind of give you a little slap across the face to actually acknowledge what's good in your life.
[00:15:40] Speaker C: Yeah, I think acknowledge you acknowledge and appreciate what else is out there and then share that with others is really great way of being grateful, acknowledging your strengths and how you love yourself, essentially also bringing in all those other things and sharing all that with others and that will sort of disperse out into those people around you.
[00:16:08] Speaker B: Yeah. Caroline, on the weekend I was reading this great book by Matt Mockery and he says appreciation is simply an outward extension of gratitude. So in gratitude you speak to yourself. In appreciation you speak to others, but the content is the same. So when you catch yourself feeling grateful about someone for something that they've done, you have to let them know.
And if we do that, what's going to happen is they're going to feel better about themselves.
They'll feel connected and appreciative of you.
I think the other thing that happens is you start to feel a bit more positive about that person.
[00:16:45] Speaker C: Yeah, 100% often, you know that somebody's done a great job, but for whatever reason, whether it's an ingrained thing that we learn from childhood, we kind of don't say what's out there that we should and something as small as acknowledging somebody cleaning the coffee machine, they go, oh, thank you. You didn't have to say that, but you actually know you don't have to say that. But by saying that, it means a lot to a lot of people when you wouldn't think it would, and that we find doing lots of those little things build up and then you sort of have to work less with your people because they are happy.
[00:17:30] Speaker B: Yeah. Well then they want to perform more. So it's like the kids in the soccer game, right? So if you see them trying and you really boost them on. Come on, great job, great passing, great kick, great try. See why you try that good stuff? They want to try harder.
I remember in a previous episode we shared Ken Blanchard's book the 1 minute Father. And I was saying how I learned lots of things from that. But one of the things he speaks about in that book from a parenting perspective is about catching your kids doing something right. And I think it's a trap that business owners and employers can fall into of just looking for the stuff that's going mean. George is always late or he's always taking a longer lunch break or he's always, as opposed to, and those things may be very true, maybe you need to address them. But maybe George works late. Or you know what? Maybe he's the best converting salesperson you've got on your team, in which case I don't care if he comes in late, but it's about focusing and then.
[00:18:29] Speaker C: Thanking know and also might not necessarily be a measurable scale. Whether he's a fantastic salesperson that just blows things out of the water. It could be that he's just a great team player and helps lift other people. Now falling back onto the statement of he's never on time or he's late or he's never in here. If he is achieving great numbers, but more so really helping lift his team, that's more valuable than the numbers because then you have many people on one goal.
[00:19:04] Speaker B: It's interesting you say that and we could talk about, and maybe we should do another podcast on teamwork because I was saying to somebody the other day that there was somebody that used to work with us and they left and somebody said to me, oh, were they good at their job? And I said no.
And they went, oh, really? I heard that they were really good at what they did. Well, they were good at what they did, but their job was so much more than that. So they were good at the technical aspect of what they did, but they were a terrible team player.
They weren't a team person at all. So therefore, were they good at their job? No, because part of their job is also being part of the team. It's not just doing their, they don't work in silos with blinkers on. So it's an interesting .1 of the other things. Just to round that comment about appreciation off, if I can, one of the things that I know you do and I do is at the end of every day, as people leave the office, we thank them for the day. Right. So it's always, yep, thanks for your day. Thanks for your effort. The end of the week. Thanks for your effort this week. Really appreciate it.
But what Matt mockery was saying was to go one step further and be a lot more specific because whilst they will like that, there's a risk that becomes a bit of a platitude over time. So what he's saying is, be more specific. Hey, this week you really made an effort on blank.
You really worked. Thank you for doing.
And it's an interesting thing. I wrote about it in my book, Caroline, that when I was dealing with a sales manager in one of our clients, and I said to him, do you thank your team? And he said, no. Well, they get paid.
And it was interesting, like two months later when we went through this process of getting, of thanking his team and he said to me, wow, they really stepped up. It's made an enormous difference. It's such a simple thing to show appreciation, isn't it?
[00:20:57] Speaker C: It's two minutes. Not even two minutes, but it's a two minute statement or a ten second statement that can last a lifetime. And who knows? If you just don't know where people are at. And without going into any mental health sort of states or performance states, it's just an impact that you can't measure.
[00:21:17] Speaker B: Yes. So easy. So super easy. So, Caroline, today, what prompted this, this session was less about kind of your business and more about you. And it was, know if you want to get more freedom in your to. We've got to work on you first. Right. So we've got to work on having the right mental attitude, the right approach to things. And so we spoke about the importance of just getting rid of that negative confirmation bias. And now looking at gratitude, we've spoken about how that's really hard to do when the water is muddy, can't see your feet.
But the more that you can get into the habit of practicing gratitude, and by the way, it is a know, it doesn't mean that everything's always going to be rosy and life's just always good, because sometimes it's just shit. It just is.
But in the overall scheme of things, as our friend McDonaldson says, while there's still breath in me, there's still hope.
[00:22:18] Speaker C: Yep. Well, there's no such thing as rosy all the time. Because you wouldn't know if it was rosy because there would be no picks and troughs.
[00:22:25] Speaker B: No, that's right.
[00:22:26] Speaker C: You need to have the yin and the yang of the good and the bad.
[00:22:30] Speaker B: Yep. Got to experience the bad times to appreciate the good times. Yeah. So what have we spoken about? We've spoken about the importance of gratitude and just trying to think, to change your thinking about. Instead of looking for what's wrong in your business, let's start looking for what's right. Because when people first join our mastermind program, the first thing we do is try and find a quick win for them. And often it's about finding something that's really close to working well and it just needs some tweaking. And if we know if we tweak it bang on, it's going to work like a charm. So change your bias, look for positive things. Practice gratitude. Then. The third thing was to take the gratitude, which is an internal practice, and turn it into an external one in terms of. In the form of appreciation.
[00:23:13] Speaker C: Yep. I think it's the gratitude flow on effect.
[00:23:16] Speaker B: Oh, I like that. The gratitude flow on effect. There we go.
[00:23:20] Speaker C: Should write a book.
[00:23:22] Speaker B: You should and call it the gratitude flow on effect. I really like it, Caroline. Thank you.
[00:23:26] Speaker C: You're welcome.
[00:23:27] Speaker B: It's always fun to have these chats with you team. I just thought that this was a great opportunity to think about our mindset, to think about what we could do differently. And if you follow this process, then you are actually going to get that freedom that you want from your business. If you like what we spoke about in this podcast, please like the podcast. Share the podcast. Please subscribe because if you subscribe, it makes it much easier for other people to find us. And that helps on our mission to help everyday small business owners to get the freedom back to have the business that they really wanted to. If you like what you've heard and you know somebody else in a small business who you think would benefit from that, please share it with them. If you don't like what you heard, share it with them anyway. Why should you be the only one that didn't like it?
That's it. That's a wrap. Mastermind for Business is the website to go to. If you'd like to know more, always happy to chat. Please jump onto our socials, make some comments. Let us know if there's a particular topic that you would like to hear about. We would love to deliver it to you. This is Mark Creedon. Thank you again, Caroline. And whatever you do between now and the next episode, please make sure you spend time with those who matter most. We'll see you in the next episode of the Mastermind for Business podcast.
[00:24:36] Speaker C: Thank you.
[00:24:41] Speaker A: Thanks for joining us on the Mastermind for Business podcast. If you're ready to have a business that you're not a slave to, check out metropolemastermind.com au or have a chat with Mark and the team at all the W's, see what's possible today.
